To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. They're imaginary. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. I've set my own rules to live by. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. No money to be made off of the homeless. And fight songs. Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. Enjoy! Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. What exactly is viewer discretion? And fight songs. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. In America, anyone can become president. node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); Who the fuck is going to invade the US? Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. #privileges. 3. They own all the important land. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. " George Carlin Quotes George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. var useSSL = "https:" == document.location.protocol; You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Aparently we're not ready for that! You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, 17. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. It takes up a lot of your time. How are YOU going to tackle today? Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. [CDATA[ Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. Thank you! Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. stylesheet.href = url; stylesheet.type = "text/css"; You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. We havent tried that for a while. This is what we have to offer. })(); Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. George Carlin, 52. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin, 5. } } else { We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. init: function() { Press Enter / Return to begin your search. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government & Life - Goalcast }); g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; Comedian A.src = t; They own, and control the corporations. A.async = !0; George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. //]]> It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. Right in the f--in head! // page settings A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. Laugh often, long and loud. the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. for(var i=0; iWelcome | QuoteSaga I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they ought to be. And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. It creates a hostile work environment. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Enjoy! return cookiePair[1]; Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. The people are fucked." George Carlin tags: funny , humanity , humor 8709 likes Like Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. They will do anything for the unborn. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. 2023 Inspirationfeed. "https://":"http://";i+=f?g:k;i+=j;i+=h;c(i)}if(!e.ue_inline){if(a.loadUEFull){a.loadUEFull()}else{b()}}a.uels=c;e.ue=a})(window,document); George Carlin. Resources. The table is tilted, folks. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. function q(c, r) { }, Cause pretty soon they have little hats. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("grsession", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); I love individuals. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. Use your fucking heads! Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. [CDATA[ Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. You have no choice. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. " George Carlin 14. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads if (window.csa) { Some people see things that are and ask, Why? If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; George Carlin Quotes - Facebook But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. - George Carlin profile quotes. Well, we know what they want. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. I have certain rules I live by. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. I look at war a little. var isRetina = window.devicePixelRatio >= 2; // retina display It's a big club and you ain't in it. Everybodys going to save something now. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed.